Many women now face the problem of alcoholism in the family. "My husband drinks every day, what to do? ", " My husband has been drinking for 10 days, how to behave? - these questions have been heard more and more often in recent times. Of course, the spouse is an alcoholic - it's scary. And drunk alcoholism, if left untreated, is usually able to turn life into eternal torture. But here you should always remember that alcoholism is an illness and not a personal choice of any particular person. A sick person undoubtedly needs the support of those close to them, especially when they cannot cope with the problem on their own. But, as a rule, when the husband drinks, the wife suffers first. And at such times, the question often arises: what to do when the husband has had a binge eating? There are few ways out of this situation: leave him and get a divorce, or try to fight for your life and help your loved one. Although we can say with certainty that this fight will not be easy. But the decision here must be made by the woman herself, no advice from a psychologist will help. Only she can decide what she wants and what she can do to achieve her goal.
Difficult decision
Divorce is the simplest and easiest solution. Thus, a woman seems to be offloading responsibility for the future fate of a man. But in this case, you have to adhere to a certain behavior. The bottom line here: If you decide to go, go. Regardless of the persuasion or pleading, it is important to know that you cannot trust the promises of an alcoholic. He will do anything to convince his wife: burst into tears, offer gifts, fall to his knees. If that doesn't work, he may very well resort to violence or blackmail. Therefore, you should not follow his example, because by believing in it once you can cause such concerts to be repeated over and over again. And they can last over a week, or even over a month. The opinion of a psychologist in this case is unambiguous: you need to make a firm decision, clearly convey it to your husband, do not trust promises and do not give in to pity. We must always remember that no matter how bad the husband is, the wife will be doubly worse.
If the choice is made to fight and help the closest person, then the woman will have to be patient. The most important thing in this case is to understand why the husband began to drink, and then to deepen the solution of this problem. Today there are many ways to wean a person from alcohol use.
First of all, you need to learn how to behave properly. If the partner has started drinking more often and periodically begins to drink excessively, you can try changing your tactics. After all, he is sure that once he gets home he will run into another scandal with tears and broken dishes. Or will he perhaps be greeted with dead silence and icy contempt? In any case, we must try to change: become more affectionate, surround him with attention and care, try to open up other joys in life to him, in addition to drinking alcohol. Often times, this behavior confuses men and makes it much easier to deal with. At the very least, you will protect yourself and your children from unwarranted assault and save your nerves.
Second, you must try to protect the devotee from his drinking friends. In fact, most often a man drinks vodka for business, or out of solitude. When they drink excessively, men have very low self-esteem. It seems to them that they are no longer needed by anyone and are not suitable for anything. Try to prove how wrong he is:
- show that he is the head of the family, his hope and his support, and that without his participation everything can collapse;
- focus on children who have psychological difficulties in living with an alcoholic father;
- to captivate him with new interests and hobbies.
Codependency
A woman may be unable to leave her alcoholic husband. There could be many reasons for this, but she still has to find a way to live.
There is such a thing as codependency, when a woman unwillingly falls into social or physical dependence on her husband, trying to pull him out of the hole and bring him back into the family. This usually happens when a woman has a strong emotional attachment to her significant other. Only an experienced psychologist can help you here.
There are clear signs by which to judge the presence of codependency:
- the wife takes responsibility for the health, mood and well-being of her husband;
- tries to please her husband by doing all the work for him;
- feels the need to help her husband with problems, basically to solve problems for him;
- justifies the spouse's inappropriate behavior in front of others;
- feels guilty about what happened to her husband;
- turns a blind eye to the problem, believing that all that is not done is for the best;
- falls into the same addiction to alcohol, not having the strength to resist;
- sees himself as a paying victim for past sins;
- physically or emotionally attached to a spouse.
What to do for a wife when a husband is having binge eating
There are many reasons why men have a long binge. Here are the main ones:
- not wanting to resist addiction;
- family conflicts;
- inability to deal with stress.
Everyone knows that alcohol causes a feeling of euphoria, thus developing one of the strongest addictions in a person that they may not want to overcome. A weak mentality and willpower can also be one of the reasons for heavy drinking. And if the stressful situation at home or at work is long lasting, then a person can drink almost every day.
Denial of alcoholism is a problem for all alcoholics. You can constantly hear all kinds of excuses, such as, "Yes, I'm an alcoholic and I like it! "Or "I don't drink for no reason. " The drinker never admits that he is addicted, it seems to him that he is able to stop drinking whenever he wants. But in fact, it all ends in another frenzy, after which the reassurances of oneself and all around him in their firmness of character begin again.
What to do in such a situation is not difficult to understand - to deal with unequivocally. But what a woman absolutely shouldn't do is worth understanding. No need:
- look for excuses for heavy drinking;
- hide the problem, dress him up with a needle, try to show that he is not what he is;
- justify the husband in front of colleagues or bosses because he does not work or that he is systematically late;
- drink with your partner so that they get less;
- give to drink at home, as long as he does not drink in the street;
- wash and cleanse after him the consequences of his alcoholic intoxication;
- buy alcohol;
- blackmail with sexual relations;
- threatening to divorce;
- to treat her husband secretly about him.
There are different ways to help a person come out of their binge state:
- drug solution;
- folk remedies;
- psychological assistance and rehabilitation program;
- prayer or conspiracy against alcoholism.
mild frenzy
With such an initial stage of alcohol addiction, you can try to cope with traditional methods of getting rid of the binge. It is also good that the treatment can be done at home. The very first thing to do is let the patient sleep and then stay in bed. It is recommended that you drink plenty of fluids to restore the water-salt balance in the body. In this case, various fruit drinks, herbal infusions and decoctions are suitable. You can also take a contrast shower, herbal baths, massage, and other procedures aimed at improving and restoring the body. It is not worth resorting to medical intervention without consulting a specialist, otherwise you may cause unforeseen complications.
Heavy drinking
When the binge lasts longer than three days, you will likely need the help of a narcologist. A specialist can be called at home. He will properly assess the patient's condition and prescribe the medications to be taken, carefully following the doctor's instructions.
Most often, to relieve withdrawal symptoms, the home doctor puts an intravenous drip, which cleans the blood of alcohol toxins and ethanol breakdown products. It also often contains restorative ingredients and sedatives. The point is that a person who drinks very often becomes aggressive, panics or experiences unexplained fears.
In order to calm him down and restore the nervous system after a binge, the doctor may advise courses with a psychologist and prescribe psychotropic drugs.
heavy frenzy
Usually an intense binge lasts a week or more. If the situation is almost out of control or if the drinker has a history of chronic illness, then only hospitalization of the patient in a narcological or toxicological clinic can help. Treatment in hospital will help prevent possible unpleasant consequences of binge eating, which can manifest as "delirium tremens" or alcoholic psychosis. In such a state, the patient is unable to control himself and can commit aggressive acts towards any member of the family, being in a deranged state. Of course, it is advisable not to talk about it, but if suddenly the withdrawal syndrome is very difficult, herbal or prayer treatment is essential. You must go to a narcological hospital as soon as possible, otherwise you could seriously damage your health, possibly even death.
conclusions
When a husband is an alcoholic, it is a terrible heartache for those close to him. They worry and suffer, even more than the patient himself. Sometimes life becomes so unbearable that you have to make a choice: keep your family or your own health. Rarely is a woman able to end a once happy family life, especially if there are children who still love Daddy. All that remains is to rescue his loved one from this terrible trap. However, it is very difficult to do it on your own and, in fact, it is not necessary. In this case, we cannot do without psychological help and support. Advice from an experienced specialist will tell you how to behave properly and what to do to get your husband out of the frenzy and restore him to a normal life. It only remains to fill up with great patience and in no case despair, because despair can lead to thoughtless actions, which we can then sincerely regret.